ElderlyJokes An Elderly Woman Decided To Have Her Portrait. This Will Make You Go Crazy. An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.” “But you are not wearing any of those things,” replied the artist. “I know,” she said. “It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery.” See more Previous joke The Elderly Inventor Of The Harley Davidson Died And Went To Heaven. Next joke A Six-Year-Old Boy Was Standing With His Father.