ElderlyJokes An Elderly Woman Decided To Have Her Portrait. This Will Make You Go Crazy. An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.” “But you are not wearing any of those things,” replied the artist. “I know,” she said. “It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery.” See more Previous joke An Old Couple Is Ready To Go To Sleep. Next joke Johnny’s Friend Gets His Comeuppance.