AnimalsJokes An Octopus Goes Into A Bar. What Follows Next Will Make You Go ROFL. 11.8k Views An Octopus goes into a bar and says: “I can play any musical instrument going!” Someone gives him a guitar and he starts to play like Jimi Hendrix. The bartender motions to the piano, which he sits in front of and promptly starts playing, better than Elton John. A Scotsman tosses him a set of Bagpipes. The Octopus fumbles around for a couple of minutes. The Scotsman says “what’s wrong…can ye’ not play it?” “Play it!?! I’m gonna’ scr*w her brains out once I figure out how to get her pyjamas off!” See more Previous joke A Husband Takes A Pair Of His Pants. Next joke Three Farmers Wanted To Win The State Fair Contest.