ElderlyJokes An Older Couple Is Lying In Bed. What Follows Next Will Blow Your Mind. 14k Views An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night’s sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, “Don’t touch me.” “Why not?” he asks. She answers back, “Because I’m dead.” The husband says, “What are you talking about? We’re both lying here in bed together and talking to one another.” She says, “No, I’m definitely dead.” He insists, “You’re not dead. What in the world makes you think you’re dead?” “Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts.” See more Previous joke A School Teacher Decided To Hand Out Candy. Next joke A Crusty Old Man Walks Into A Bank.